To Germany...at Last

Well, when you watch Slumdog Millionaire, you'll be convinced that sometimes your destiny is written, and no matter how hard it is, you should achieved it if you tried. But even sometimes you can wait until destiny comes to you. The biggest hurdle to get me to Germany is getting an invitation letter, since the institution would not help at all. But, that all changes in a blink of an eye when my friend managed to get that letter without much of my intervention. In less than a week the letters have arrived, and my world is turning upside down. All plans just came one after another, getting visa and the documents prerequisites, and confirm the arrival at Germany with our friends already there. All has been set for departure at July 1st at 00.30. The visas are done in June 29th, and the tickets are already paid for flying to Frankfurt through Dubai. The flight was long, approximately 19 hours counted from Western Indonesia Time, plus one more hour by train from Frankfurt to Karlsruhe. And the rest is history...

Back to the Corner

I'm out of passion, even for surviving this so-called joint program. Time is running out, alol my friends are progressing, leaving me behind on the platform. Well, it's time for natural selection. My kind of species is destined to extinct, back in the 20th century. I can't seem to think in the same language again. Once again, I'm caught in this devil's circle, never seem to know the edge. This past six months have sent me back to the corner, just watching as the world goes by. Have I taken the wrong choice to be here, try to fool myself in the academic world while my mind is always in the practical world, the real world. Is it time to retreat and surrender, like I used to? Why the hell am I hiding my complaint here, in a foreign language, so that no one really cares about? Who am I kidding?

The Warnetman Strikes Back

It's been a while since my warnet days back in 1999 until 2001. As consumer, I use warnet regularly until graduating from UGM in 2004. After that, I access internet either from home or office. When I get back to campus to take my postgraduate study, the hotspot is already all around. Even at home, I can access our neighbor campus' hotspot occasionally. Until the other day, my brother's friend asked me to set up his new warnet (internet cafe) at his home. I never set up an internet cafe router (gateway) before, so it's a surprise that the work can be done in just under ten minutes using IP Forward and IP Tables. Next is setting firewall, and until now I still cannot manage to do it properly, at least for HTTPS exception. The bandwidth management came next, easily done using HTB. This week, I will do proxy using squid.

The King of Upstairs

These weeks have been such a lonely one. My older brother left for Riau yesterday for two weeks. My sister-in-law and my one-week-old-yet-unnamed niece came home for about one week now. My parents is downstairs, our maid does not stay inhouse. That leaves me alone for weekdays (my younger brother only visits every weekend), to be the king of upstairs. It also bounds me to stay put, because my father is extremely ill and cannot be left alone. Maybe that what keeps me away from the world, from my study, and my dream of going abroad. I have to stay home, at least for a while.

When All Is Said and Done...

First, they promised all of us full scholarship to study in three universities in three cities, one of them is abroad. Suddenly, only a fraction of us who can go abroad, but they still promised the rest would go abroad too, but not to study. Then, they hold out our scholarship for the rest of us. Now, we are not guaranteed to go abroad at all, because we must find the way ourselves (like we ever go before). Not enough of it, they say if we don't (or won't) go abroad, we must pay our scholarship back. Do we ever speak the same language all this time?

All I Need Is a Miracle...

Just to finish this goddamn programme! We are urged to graduate in May, which means we get only three months left. At the same time, we supposed to find our way to German, by ourselves! Well, our headmaster must be out of his mind. If they can't get us through, how can they depend on us instead? Not to mention the financial is getting tighter, there's no guarantee we can collect our last paychecks, after they cut the periods by two months. Are we supposed to feel lucky here?

I Have a Bad Feeling About This...

It seems like German is just another dream. The scholarship we get is getting stricter, no money will come out automatically. When my motivation is waning, all we get is more and more bad news. The living cost will be linked to the theses progress. Guess they never know anything about capital cost. Our journey abroad is cut from three to two months, talking about justice. We officially become second-class citizen on this program. While some of our colleagues get 20 months period and full scholarship, we get 18 months, not-so-full scholarship, and only 2 months abroad. I have a bad feeling about this. Just when I failed to pass the big 5 pageant, I got a feeling that the rest of us would never get abroad after all. And it's all because this program and the management just suck, big time.

Can You Really Plan Your Life?

Honestly... Can someone really plan their life in details, when to finish school, where to work, who's gonna be the sibling, how many kids to have, when to retire, and finally when they gonna die? Sounds ridiculous? Well, some of us think we should have one, or even MUST. I used to think the same way, but looking back now, I can see that my life has been planned by somebody else. Or should I say SOMEBODY up there? Nothing in my life went the way I planned, entirely the opposite way. It is still too early to conclude whether it's just the way it should be, or I just have a fucked-up fate. The wise men always say, just do your best to execute your plan, but in the end it's always something wrong. And I couldn't agree more than that. The way I see it, I want to take care of my own fate, as I am too old to screw it worse than I already have.

You Give Me Nothing but the Blues

Yes, the door is closed now. My chance to get into the top five is gone. The list is set, my name is not on it. Well, maybe it's time to stop dreaming and get my feet back on the ground. Better be prepared for the final theses and enjoy the traveling bonus next year. I don't know why I fail, and I don't want to. It's just another bitter part of my miserable life, I guess.

One Down, Many to Go

Not so surprised when I saw my name on the top 10 list. It has been on my prediction for some times. But I never predicted my rank will be that high (2). Now I must face the ultimate judgment from the Uni-Karlsruhe authorities. Well, I still on my track I guess. There are advantages and disadvantages to be accepted or not. You will work VERY hard right after you are accepted in top 5 list to go 10 months to Karlsruhe, and I mean it HARD. You will get the prestige of course, and on the account of your other 15 friends stipends, you will be (hopefully) well-covered financially there. If you are not accepted, you will take the humiliation, back to your hometown, but still get the ultimate bonus: 3 months vacation to Germany. full-paid! This kind of mixed-up doesn't happen everyday, so whatever the results, it will still be very exciting to watch.