2007: A Look Ahead

It's the end of the year as we know it, I'm going on a (short) vacation tonight and that makes this my final post of the year 2006. A year of radical changes, just as before. We were faced with new challenges, beyond our capabilities, and yet we make it. We learned so many things we never thought of before, and still looking for the course of our destiny. Yes, that's make it live your life one day at a time. Because you have reason to wake up every morning and walk your way to work, just to go home late at night. Sometimes I feel as if I still dreaming my way to work, just to realize that it's all true, or dream my work just to realize I was still sleeping. You'll never know when it's gonna end and how. Anyway, happy new year everyone.

End of the Year

Well, it's the end of the year once again. How fast the time passes, along with other things. Can you imagine your wallet was full the other day, then empty in a matter of hours, not that yo spent it all, but you must (or should) lent them in such a situation you just can't say no? And the internet is gone (because of that earthquake in Taiwan broke the undersea fiber optic link) , not completely, just slowing significantly. E-mail is the most affected service, can't connect to most of my e-mail accounts. At least I have completed my assignment...most of it actually. Well, what's left now is pray for a better times next year.

Switching to Blogger Beta and Three Endless Days

Today I'm switching this blog to the new version of Blogger (Blogger Beta) so it is now integrated with my Google (GMail) account. Well, it's about time to do so. It concludes my last three days, the endless days of work. At Monday, I'm getting enormous pain in my stomach as I wake up. Thought I got it from double doze of chili sauce the other day. No time to break, I must go to the office early or I miss my ride. Well, the road to office is varied from the freeway to the off road, so my pain was unbearable in the middle of the journey and I threw up in my sister's car. Concerning about it, my sister suggested that I should go home and take some rest. I refused, but not sure if that's the right thing to do. Well, it turned out to be the right decision. One of my co-worker was ill and absent, the other must take his exam and absent for half a day, and my boss was out for the whole day. So, I must take care of the business, substituted trainer for morning class, came to meeting at noon, and back again to office to install 3 servers to ship the next day (finish at 09.30pm). The next two days were not as hard as Monday but still, work in such a pressure with this condition, sick and lack of sleep is such a challenge, if not suicidal.

What Does Not Kill You...

A friend of mine once told me, what does not kill you only makes you stronger. I wonder if it goes backwards, what does not make you stronger gonna kill you... Picture this, you work as hard as you can, over your head, consuming all of your body can handle. No matter how hard you try, it's still not enough, in fact, it will never be enough.

All Wasted

My head is aching, my stomach is exploding, seems that I'm all wasted. Four days in a row outside the office really push my body over the limit. If that's not enough, tomorrow I will give another training (overtime), yeah... life is hard, life is real. Not to mention the ups and downs of doing training away from office and home (and I mean, far away). The grueling trainee, most of them did it quietly and deadly. Well, customer is king, and we play that role once in a while. After all, I thought I wrote this post in my sleep. Yeah right...

Wish

Do you ever wish you could disappear? That you could fly to anywhere, to live your dream instead of reality, the same routine you must perform every single day of your life?
Do you ever wish you were always on your own? That you didn't ever have to listen to anybody, that you could live your life for today, never thought about the future?
I wish I did, and always will.

The Missing Cellular (part 3)

Thursday, August 17 - Monday, August 21, 2006 : Long weekend in Semarang Tuesday, August 22 : back to office, still using the phone to receive call from CC sales Wednesday, August 23 : leave for office in my brother in law's car, got off in front of checkpost of GKBI Building (Sudirman), walk for about 10 meters out of the gate, I put my hand on my pocket, where I used to put my cellular phone. It's not there. As far as I remember, I didn't lose it, I thought I'd leave it home. That night, I found out it wasn't there. So, my cellphone is lost, but where and when, I'm not sure. The time between receiving the call the other day and realizing the loss was just routine to me. As I went home, I took th ephone out of my pocket and put it in the table next to my bed, and in the morning I put it backin my pocket. Now, the routine seems so complicated.

The First Drop (Welcome)

Why another blog? maybe because it's free and there's too many things I cannot say, but carelessly exposed it to the outer world. It's in English, not too good so people from my country won't reveal it too easily, and people internationally will consider it another clumsy attempt. One drop of water, inspired by a quote from the prophet:

...dip your finger into the ocean and lift it, the water that drops from your fingertip is the human knowledge and the rest of the ocean is God's knowledge...

In another popular reference, a religious song compare one drop of water from the ocean and the rest of the ocean with the world and the afterlife. And living my life one day at a time, that's just the way it always goes. Try not to bound to the past, and not look too far to the future, cause you'll never know what's gonna happen tommorow, or if there's tommorow after all.
So, this is my first drop of water, maybe not enough to quench the thirst or clean the dirt, but who knows it can break a stone.

Water Crisis and Fasting

In the past two weeks, our office has turn into water crisis. The kind of crisis you don't expect to happen, especially here at the heart of Jakarta. It reminds of me of the days when I was a little boy, the same crisis happened and nothing we can do about it. We had to save water exclusively for cooking and drinking (there hasn't been bottled drinking water yet), we barely took a bath, but keep for wudu (I can't find the proper word) instead. Yesterday was the first day of Ramadan, or fasting month, and the crisis is getting worse. You see, when fasting, we are not allowed to drink along the time, so wudu is the only way to get excitement of water. Some says that we may cheat during wudu, instead of chewing water, we drink some. But, when there's no water or scarce enough to warn us not to take that much excitement, or even go somewhere else to pray. Luckily, there's a mosque about five minutes form the office. But still, five minutes under the sun at this peak of dry season (ten if you count both ways) are not the best moment in fasting. To complete the package, I become the minority here and fasting alone (at least in my department) is hard enough without any compensation such as work hour reduction, and even get some food to break is a notorious problem here. But hey, life was, is , and will never be easy, just keep on surviving and cherish every day you pass. UPDATE (27-09-06): The water crisis is finally solved. It turns out to be the damaged waterpump.

Once in a Lifetime

What if you can live your dream, go to every new place, meet new people, I mean very high place and very important person, be a part of a revolution, and still unknown? Just like a time traveller that go back in time and be a part of American or French Revolution. The different is, the time is right now and the place is right here. I always value experience and pleasure (or enjoyment) higher than any price of money in the world. That's why I once told my friend that I'm willing to work unpaid as long as I can access internet for free, anytime I want, any way I want it to. Because accessing internet means new experience, new journey everytime. I can't travel farther than Java island all my life, the only place I think I'll be able to go farthest is Mecca (for pilgrimage journey). Becoming a witness for historical moments is priceless, it's a chance for a lifetime.

Enjoy the Pressure

Sometimes I wonder, if we live without stress will life still worth living for? When we works in an established institution, with a clear career path, satisfactory wages, loaded with extras, plus we have our home sweet home with a family to go home to. The job we do everyday is the same old routine from day one, just with higher job title and paycheck. What a life it would be... Now picture this situation: you work in a newly developed company, doing every dirty jobs available, constantly changed environment (especially the boss' mood), and uncertain future of the company, also your employment status (and the continuity of your paycheck). Now, can you feel the pressure?

Daydream

Do you ever wish you were someone else, when you sit down in front of your PC, not knowing what to do? Do you always feel so very tired when you (finally) come home after a long journey from the office? Then you go to sleep wishing there will be no dream of tommorow, the same routine all over again? And in the middle of work you get messages from your old friends, schoolmate, roomate, just letting you know where they are, on a better place of course. Your friends have go abroad, get a better job (and paycheck), make a newspaper headline, move to a new house, etc, etc. Now, look at yourself... are those things ever happen to you? Not a little bit, you're now still fighting for a quest of a lifetime. You're stuck in this place realizing there's not much left out there. You wonder...

With a Little Help from My Friend

At last, I can manage to find a new job, in a new place, with new challenges. WIth a little (well, maybe a lot) help from my friend, I can find a job where the only thing matters is your nerve. No diplomas, no skills, and no whatsoever. The first task I take is to assist a Java training for two weeks with no real training before. This is my new frontier, new wacky environment, and yet again, new persons to meet. Now it's time to really look towards the future.

The Chronicles

• Dec 7th, 2004: I started working on TeleMatics Indonesia as Graphic Web Designer with 3 months probation. I was assigned to BPK PENABUR Project to design the User Interface.
  
• March 1st, 2005: The probation is over and I declared full-employee of TeleMatics Indonesia.
• May 2005 : The prototype of BPK PENABUR ERP application was approved.
  
• August 1st, 2005 : I was transferred to Sakura Bengawan (Sabeso) along with my two colleagues. One of them is still on probation. I never signed any work contract with Sabeso, only the non-disclosure agreement for my work (and biography).
  
• September 12th, 2005: I was assigned (thrown?) to EDMS project on Ciputra as Quality Control Desk. The project planned to finish in a month, but turned out to extend as long as three months. The project went slowly, and we forced to go overtime (7.30 am to 7.30 pm), and I never get any extra cash from it.
  
• September 2005: One of my colleagues transferred from TeleMatics resigned.
• October (or maybe November) 2005: My other colleague sign 6 months contract with Sabeso.
• December 2005: The Ciputra Project was over.
• January 2006: Sabeso planned to fire me or in their words return me to TeleMatics. TeleMatics refused and fire me completely. Sabeso told me (through their spokeperson) that TeleMatics asked me back. TeleMatics told me that Sabeso planned to cut BPK PENABUR Project off so I was not needed anymore, and sent me back. TeleMatics said they had not enough resources for me and let me go.
  
• February 1st, 2006: Jobless and broke...
• February 16th, 2006: TeleMatics called me back to do the Kalbar Groupware Project (a rushed project) for a month. In the process, Kalbar project finished in two weeks, and in the middle of it I helped the M@RIS Training and AIG LIFE.
• March 14th, 2006: TeleMatics offered me two months extension to my contract as probation, to help in the AIG LIFE project, that I've already worked on (outside the contract).
• March 16th, 2006: My contract expired, and guess where I'm going...
  

Who Fired Me?

Today I am offered an extension to my temporary contract here. I will be contracted for a further 2 months counted as probation (trial). That really shocks me, even though I have got a leak about the offer the day before. First, I passed my probation right here a year ago (by February 2005). The offer can be considered as an insult to my ability and credibility. Second, that just increases my consciousness about the lay-off mysteries (read the previious post), the crisis identity I got when I was in Sabeso, when Sabeso thought I was a TeleMatician, TeleMatics thought I was a Sabesian. So, the last question will be, Who Fired Me? At least that firing get my position back: stateless!

The Lay-Off Mysteries

Up till now, I believe that my layoff was because of natural cause. The project I worked in was stalling, probably terminating, financial problem, and shortage of another projects. But after my temporary comeback, all that 'facts' are proven bogus. Here are the facts:

• The project I worked in is not postponed nor it is terminated. The project is going and so much alive as you and I.
• The financial problem is bulls**t, they hired a new programmer to replace me.
• The projects shortage is also bullish, there's two projects running simultaneously and not enough people to handle it (that's why they called me back in a rush, two weeks after they fired me).

So, why am I fired? without any compensation (I got a t-shirt yesterday, maybe that will do) at all. The conclusion is: my two employers are (simply) ignoring me. They don't even bother to tell me earlier as if they thought about some options to keep me. It seems that they just busy finding excuses to fire me.
UPDATE: I just found out that the one that replaces me singed-off just after two days of work. What a hot seat!

Back to the Streets (!)

It's confirmed now, I'm not back to the old gang, but to the streets. Back to where I started, jobless and broke. This answers all my questions in a hard way. Life is cruel, my friend. You'll never know what's next for you, what's waiting on the corner of the destiny. I always prepare for the worst to happen, even this bad. I can watch in the mirror the future for me is not that bright here. I don't have a plan, I never did. I got my first job and the next ones completely out of any efforts. I was offered those jobs, and transfered from one place to another. So it's not  really a big surprise when it ended suddenly. I should cry, but does it matter anymore?. The time is not going back, not any regrets left now. Time to move on...

Back (for Good...?)

Today, I'm told to be back to my office at BTC-BPPT, good old TeleMatics, starting next month. It justifies all my conscious all these months. All questions about my status, my salary, and my not fitting in this office has been answered. I'll be back in  couple of days. Just when I've already fitted in... the environment. Well, just another chapter of my life. I'll be haunted by the lack of hardware, slow internet (strangled bandwidth), and late office hour. Not counting my increasing tasks and declining productivity...in web updating I mean. I look forward to it, after all, that is what I'm paid for. That's what I'm worth for. I can't wait....

There Goes My Telly...(snif)

When I came back from work (and the storm) yesterday, I found my room was neat and clean. The bed sheet is new, and ... where is my telly? It used to be right in the corner of my room. It's gone now. Well, there goes my only entertainment. I don't know where it went,and I don't care. Now there's not a reson to comehome early. Guess I miss my PC very badly now...

Legally Alien

Q : Do you speak English?
A : Little-Little sih I can

Q : Do you understand ?
A : Yes,I stand under you

Q : Are you alright ?
A : No what-what

Q : Are you crazy ?
A : Yes, Yes, Yes...eh No Ding!

New Year, New Look, New Spirit

Originally, I want to kill this blog because of my addict of web presences. If you consider 3 websites (personal) and 6 blogs are too much, then I must be overkill. But then, I realize that I need some breakout, to express some thoughts in a language that not many people (in my country) understand, and yet manage to confuse the native speakers of English with this level of fluency. So I decide to continue this blog as of 2006 and change the name and design to refresh my spirit. I hope I can update this blog more frequently, but we'll never know what might happen...