I Should Be So Lucky

Some times ago, someone told me that I am a lucky man, because I virtually do nothing to get an invitation letter to get me here now. I just sit back and do whatever came to me. My friend told me to upload my passport scan, OK. Another day he wanted me to send me CV, I'd do that too. And then, snap! the letter just came to my lap. There was some work to do to make sure I can go abroad, but that's just routine. And the rest is history, they say...

Although I always see my life as a series of unfortunate events, I always thank God for that, because there are many fortunes, too. My unfortunate was followed by a fortune, and vice versa. I got dropped out from college followed by my acceptance in UGM, my first job came through Yahoo! Messenger chatting after 6 months of fighting, my firing from that job followed by another job instantly, I got invitation for postgraduate scholarship out of nowhere, my failure to get ito the big five followed by this invitation letter. So, I see that as... life as we know it. Sometimes we get lucky, most of times someone else is.

To Germany...at Last

Well, when you watch Slumdog Millionaire, you'll be convinced that sometimes your destiny is written, and no matter how hard it is, you should achieved it if you tried. But even sometimes you can wait until destiny comes to you. The biggest hurdle to get me to Germany is getting an invitation letter, since the institution would not help at all. But, that all changes in a blink of an eye when my friend managed to get that letter without much of my intervention. In less than a week the letters have arrived, and my world is turning upside down. All plans just came one after another, getting visa and the documents prerequisites, and confirm the arrival at Germany with our friends already there. All has been set for departure at July 1st at 00.30. The visas are done in June 29th, and the tickets are already paid for flying to Frankfurt through Dubai. The flight was long, approximately 19 hours counted from Western Indonesia Time, plus one more hour by train from Frankfurt to Karlsruhe. And the rest is history...

Back to the Corner

I'm out of passion, even for surviving this so-called joint program. Time is running out, alol my friends are progressing, leaving me behind on the platform. Well, it's time for natural selection. My kind of species is destined to extinct, back in the 20th century. I can't seem to think in the same language again. Once again, I'm caught in this devil's circle, never seem to know the edge. This past six months have sent me back to the corner, just watching as the world goes by. Have I taken the wrong choice to be here, try to fool myself in the academic world while my mind is always in the practical world, the real world. Is it time to retreat and surrender, like I used to? Why the hell am I hiding my complaint here, in a foreign language, so that no one really cares about? Who am I kidding?

Byproducts or Scraps?

When a selection process is done, or in this case synonymous with layoffs, what should the rest of the candidates called? If they go on doing something other than what the main purpose was, they can be called 'byproducts', whereas the selected ones are the main products. Byproducts are the side products that comes from outside the main process, commonly have lower values than the main ones. Of course, less attention paid to byproducts, as they are not the highlight of the company, only considered as the higher status of salvage, a valuable trash. At least, byproducts are still considered as part of the process and outcomes. When the losing candidates are neglected and given no treatment, then it becomes scraps (or simply garbage), that must be disposed. Scraps may still be valuable, however commonly can be considered worthless, at least in the eye of the company's stockholders. Scraps are annoying and ruining the main portfolios (products), especially when they keep complaining about lack of efforts and financing spent to take care of them, even when the budget has already been allocated for them in the beginning. When the main process changes its procedure in the middle, reducing the output because of increasing in cost and rejection of market and lack of coordination between shareholders (or supposed-to-be-shareholder), should the rest of materials considered scraps? Especially when the materials are humans being, rationally-sane individuals? Are they byproducts or scraps?

The Warnetman Strikes Back

It's been a while since my warnet days back in 1999 until 2001. As consumer, I use warnet regularly until graduating from UGM in 2004. After that, I access internet either from home or office. When I get back to campus to take my postgraduate study, the hotspot is already all around. Even at home, I can access our neighbor campus' hotspot occasionally. Until the other day, my brother's friend asked me to set up his new warnet (internet cafe) at his home. I never set up an internet cafe router (gateway) before, so it's a surprise that the work can be done in just under ten minutes using IP Forward and IP Tables. Next is setting firewall, and until now I still cannot manage to do it properly, at least for HTTPS exception. The bandwidth management came next, easily done using HTB. This week, I will do proxy using squid.

The King of Upstairs

These weeks have been such a lonely one. My older brother left for Riau yesterday for two weeks. My sister-in-law and my one-week-old-yet-unnamed niece came home for about one week now. My parents is downstairs, our maid does not stay inhouse. That leaves me alone for weekdays (my younger brother only visits every weekend), to be the king of upstairs. It also bounds me to stay put, because my father is extremely ill and cannot be left alone. Maybe that what keeps me away from the world, from my study, and my dream of going abroad. I have to stay home, at least for a while.

When All Is Said and Done...

First, they promised all of us full scholarship to study in three universities in three cities, one of them is abroad. Suddenly, only a fraction of us who can go abroad, but they still promised the rest would go abroad too, but not to study. Then, they hold out our scholarship for the rest of us. Now, we are not guaranteed to go abroad at all, because we must find the way ourselves (like we ever go before). Not enough of it, they say if we don't (or won't) go abroad, we must pay our scholarship back. Do we ever speak the same language all this time?

All I Need Is a Miracle...

Just to finish this goddamn programme! We are urged to graduate in May, which means we get only three months left. At the same time, we supposed to find our way to German, by ourselves! Well, our headmaster must be out of his mind. If they can't get us through, how can they depend on us instead? Not to mention the financial is getting tighter, there's no guarantee we can collect our last paychecks, after they cut the periods by two months. Are we supposed to feel lucky here?

Drifting Apart: Mind Your Own Business!

Start as 20-men (and women) trooper, with high hopes of some "dream team" or
"supergroup", yes it's always short-lived. When the hype is over, turns
out that the management is just another "mismanagement" and the
ambitious project is dead before taking off. Now, we are miles apart,
Jogja, Bandung, Karlsruhe, with our own business, just not enough time
for each other. The management is now less enthusiastic, keep
pressuring the rest of us. The crisis is here, the budget is tight, so
we are the victims, the lowest part of the food chain. Now, I can't
care much of it either. I'm too old for this shit. I'm not even a
leader, just an poor old lonesome internet addict.

I Have a Bad Feeling About This...

It seems like German is just another dream. The scholarship we get is getting stricter, no money will come out automatically. When my motivation is waning, all we get is more and more bad news. The living cost will be linked to the theses progress. Guess they never know anything about capital cost. Our journey abroad is cut from three to two months, talking about justice. We officially become second-class citizen on this program. While some of our colleagues get 20 months period and full scholarship, we get 18 months, not-so-full scholarship, and only 2 months abroad. I have a bad feeling about this. Just when I failed to pass the big 5 pageant, I got a feeling that the rest of us would never get abroad after all. And it's all because this program and the management just suck, big time.