Do You Believe in Shame?

Or Is it? What if you'd try your best, but we all know that is never good enough for everyone. I've screwed up, hard, all my life. I'd even given up trying to live normally, and stop making plans. Sometimes I think that's the only way I can get through, alive and breathing at this moment. How do you feel when one of these days somenone told you that you're responsible for your beloved one's life? That all you've done is nothing but shame in their eyes? And all that you can do is write this stupid post in this pathetic blog, in English, so that not everyone you know can read it. What that makes you? Don't you ever know yourself pretty well? Maybe I should see a shrink now, or even send me to a madhouse, because nothing makes sense anymore, at least to me. I just cannot live someone else's dream anymore, I'm too old and tired.