Yeah, We're All Eliminated!

It seems that I'm all mistaken. Turns out that we all are scraps of this program. Nothing good seems to come out. The best of us are wasted, the rest of us are hopeless. There's no way we can win. A joint program is supposed to be a collaborative work that includes more than one side. But in the end, what's left is a name, a jargon. without followup. I don't need the degree nor the certificate, it's all just papers. I've had all I got to survive this life. But the rest of my friends in this program need them so much. They have sacrificed much, time, effort, enthusiasm, and passion.They are more than deserve their recognitions. Now it seems that every piece of this program has a mind of their own about it. This is not joint program after all, this is not even a program. This is a reality show where nobody wins. Yeah, we're all eliminated!

Food Poisoning(?)

I'm not really sure what happened, suddenly I feel pain all over my stomach, and I threw up, from all outlets. I drained out, dehydrated, losing so much fluid. Well, talk about eat the wrong food. All I can remember that I have just enjoyed a nice lunch with some pasta I bought from the store nearby. I put it in the microwave for about 10 minutes and actually, it was quite enjoyable, my first proper meal here cooked (or at least, prepared) by me. The pasta was called penne, with chicken, mushroom, paprika, and cheese sauce. Now I feel like a cloth after washing, ready to hang to dry.

Sleepless in Karlsruhe

Coming to Germany in summer has a big advantage, especially for tropical citizen like me. The weather is similar to my hometown, which only knows two seasons: summer and rainy. Summer in Germany, or in Europe, get the two seasons combined. Temperature is around 28 degrees, quite comfortable for us getting used to temperature above 30 degrees. While people here longing for the sunshine, we from tropical country have got enough for it back home. Also, it makes the best environment for holiday and sightseeing. People don't hesitate to go out and walk in the sun. But there is also drawbacks. The biggest one is the time. In summer, the sun sets at 10.00 pm and rise at 03.00 am. Consequently, the prayer time is also adjusted accordingly. The day is longer, so the Duhr is now at 1.30 pm, Asr at 5.30 pm. That is OK, but when we see that Magrib is 09.30 pm, Isha at 11.40 pm, and Fajr (Subuh) is at 03.15 am, well how many hours can we sleep? Counting up the number, and you got three. Yes, three hours of sleep. And facing the fasting month coming up, if we must prepare for sahur before Fajr, then we get no hours left for sleep! Yes, we're gonna be sleepless in Karlsruhe soon.

I Should Be So Lucky

Some times ago, someone told me that I am a lucky man, because I virtually do nothing to get an invitation letter to get me here now. I just sit back and do whatever came to me. My friend told me to upload my passport scan, OK. Another day he wanted me to send me CV, I'd do that too. And then, snap! the letter just came to my lap. There was some work to do to make sure I can go abroad, but that's just routine. And the rest is history, they say...

Although I always see my life as a series of unfortunate events, I always thank God for that, because there are many fortunes, too. My unfortunate was followed by a fortune, and vice versa. I got dropped out from college followed by my acceptance in UGM, my first job came through Yahoo! Messenger chatting after 6 months of fighting, my firing from that job followed by another job instantly, I got invitation for postgraduate scholarship out of nowhere, my failure to get ito the big five followed by this invitation letter. So, I see that as... life as we know it. Sometimes we get lucky, most of times someone else is.

To Germany...at Last

Well, when you watch Slumdog Millionaire, you'll be convinced that sometimes your destiny is written, and no matter how hard it is, you should achieved it if you tried. But even sometimes you can wait until destiny comes to you. The biggest hurdle to get me to Germany is getting an invitation letter, since the institution would not help at all. But, that all changes in a blink of an eye when my friend managed to get that letter without much of my intervention. In less than a week the letters have arrived, and my world is turning upside down. All plans just came one after another, getting visa and the documents prerequisites, and confirm the arrival at Germany with our friends already there. All has been set for departure at July 1st at 00.30. The visas are done in June 29th, and the tickets are already paid for flying to Frankfurt through Dubai. The flight was long, approximately 19 hours counted from Western Indonesia Time, plus one more hour by train from Frankfurt to Karlsruhe. And the rest is history...

Back to the Corner

I'm out of passion, even for surviving this so-called joint program. Time is running out, alol my friends are progressing, leaving me behind on the platform. Well, it's time for natural selection. My kind of species is destined to extinct, back in the 20th century. I can't seem to think in the same language again. Once again, I'm caught in this devil's circle, never seem to know the edge. This past six months have sent me back to the corner, just watching as the world goes by. Have I taken the wrong choice to be here, try to fool myself in the academic world while my mind is always in the practical world, the real world. Is it time to retreat and surrender, like I used to? Why the hell am I hiding my complaint here, in a foreign language, so that no one really cares about? Who am I kidding?

Byproducts or Scraps?

When a selection process is done, or in this case synonymous with layoffs, what should the rest of the candidates called? If they go on doing something other than what the main purpose was, they can be called 'byproducts', whereas the selected ones are the main products. Byproducts are the side products that comes from outside the main process, commonly have lower values than the main ones. Of course, less attention paid to byproducts, as they are not the highlight of the company, only considered as the higher status of salvage, a valuable trash. At least, byproducts are still considered as part of the process and outcomes. When the losing candidates are neglected and given no treatment, then it becomes scraps (or simply garbage), that must be disposed. Scraps may still be valuable, however commonly can be considered worthless, at least in the eye of the company's stockholders. Scraps are annoying and ruining the main portfolios (products), especially when they keep complaining about lack of efforts and financing spent to take care of them, even when the budget has already been allocated for them in the beginning. When the main process changes its procedure in the middle, reducing the output because of increasing in cost and rejection of market and lack of coordination between shareholders (or supposed-to-be-shareholder), should the rest of materials considered scraps? Especially when the materials are humans being, rationally-sane individuals? Are they byproducts or scraps?

The Warnetman Strikes Back

It's been a while since my warnet days back in 1999 until 2001. As consumer, I use warnet regularly until graduating from UGM in 2004. After that, I access internet either from home or office. When I get back to campus to take my postgraduate study, the hotspot is already all around. Even at home, I can access our neighbor campus' hotspot occasionally. Until the other day, my brother's friend asked me to set up his new warnet (internet cafe) at his home. I never set up an internet cafe router (gateway) before, so it's a surprise that the work can be done in just under ten minutes using IP Forward and IP Tables. Next is setting firewall, and until now I still cannot manage to do it properly, at least for HTTPS exception. The bandwidth management came next, easily done using HTB. This week, I will do proxy using squid.

The King of Upstairs

These weeks have been such a lonely one. My older brother left for Riau yesterday for two weeks. My sister-in-law and my one-week-old-yet-unnamed niece came home for about one week now. My parents is downstairs, our maid does not stay inhouse. That leaves me alone for weekdays (my younger brother only visits every weekend), to be the king of upstairs. It also bounds me to stay put, because my father is extremely ill and cannot be left alone. Maybe that what keeps me away from the world, from my study, and my dream of going abroad. I have to stay home, at least for a while.

When All Is Said and Done...

First, they promised all of us full scholarship to study in three universities in three cities, one of them is abroad. Suddenly, only a fraction of us who can go abroad, but they still promised the rest would go abroad too, but not to study. Then, they hold out our scholarship for the rest of us. Now, we are not guaranteed to go abroad at all, because we must find the way ourselves (like we ever go before). Not enough of it, they say if we don't (or won't) go abroad, we must pay our scholarship back. Do we ever speak the same language all this time?